Although I have often found that asking about family members ("veettil aarokke undu?" - is a common way a typical achaayan attempts to befriend people) makes some people nervous (I dont know why) and prompts them to abruptly end further conversations, I just asked him about his family. When he told me his father's name, I understood why his small face seemed so familiar to me - his father and me shared the same neighborhood when we were children. We parted ways when we were around this boy's age - his family moved to some other place, and we never met after that. I anyway did not think it necessary to tell him that his father and me were childhood friends.
I don't have any games installed on my computers. Nor do I allow outsiders to access my computers. However, thinking about the boy's father, I thought it necessary to arrange one computer with some real games installed for him and his friends.
Before he started playing, he asked me :
"What is your charge for playing?"
"No Charge"
That was a surprise for him and his little friends. One of the boys said that his neighborhood cafe charges a fair amount just for playing games. Anyway they left after playing for some time.
The boys began to regularly visit me (as one of them exclaimed gleefully - its free!!). One day while they were playing, one of my programmers came to me and said :
"It is not a good practice to allow children to sit here and play games. They are spoiling the computers by not using it properly..."
Now, I knew very well that this person doesn't like, and simply can't stand the noise and confusion children create with their unpolished manners. While I was thinking of giving another isolated (and old) computer to the kids so that they can play while he can do his work without being disturbed, he said :
"Today is a class day. Yesterday too was not a holiday. Please ask them why they are here daily, instead of being at school."
It was only then that I remembered it was a school day and they should be sitting in their class rooms instead of sitting here and playing games. That thought had never crossed my mind before. He certainly has a point - I thought.
I later asked the leader :
"Why didn't you go to school today ?"
"Today is strike"
"And yesterday?"
"..........."
"And the day before yesterday?"
"..........."
Instead of answering my question, he twisted and turned slowly, with a "kallachiri" on his little face.
They were studying in a nearby school. Since they were not in their school uniforms, their parents too should be knowing that they were not attending classes - I thought.
Then I thought about his father and asked -
"Won't your father scold you if he knows that you don't go to school?"
"My father doesn't come home - since my mother doesn't care for him..."
I didn't quite understand what he said - may be he accepted his father's version instead of his mother's version as to why his father doesn't come home...
I knew that even if this boy's father had been looking after him, he would have never bothered to check whether he goes to school or not. He himself had never bothered to go to school after the 7th std. While he was studying at 7th std, he had put up a argument with his class teacher. When the class teacher asked him how he will live in future without studying properly, he yelled back -
"Saarinu oru maasam paniyeduthaal kittunna paisa ente uppaakku oru divasam kadalil poyaal kittum"
After that incident, he never went to any school.
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Some flash back...
Location : My Home
Situation : I returned from school. I have my 8th Std progress card (I Term) with me.
What is your rank?
Me (Nervous, Frightened) : 3rd Rank.
What is the rank of Sooraj Sukumaran?
Me : 1st Rank
...and Sujith Ravindran?
Me : 2nd Rank
.....................................
.....................................
.....................................
I suppose that the dots explain everything. In the end, I decided to study hard and beat at least Sujith for the next term.
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Location : St. Michaels AIBHS, 8th Std A Class Room, Namboodiri Sir declaring II Term Exam Results.
First Rank : Sooraj Sukumaran
Second Rank : Sony Antony
Third Rank : Sujeeth Ravindran
I remember Sujith crying uncontrollably. Some boys gathered around him. Just like the "aadhye parayande" incident, the "sahathaapa tharangam" was naturally in his favour. Some of the gathered boys asked -
"Eda nee enthinaa rank vaangaan poyathu? Checkan karayunnathu kandillee? Nee alle avane karayippichathu...?"
".........."
I decided one thing - that in future I will stop rank hunting. I gradually learned to ignore the angry looks of my parents (and developed a sort of resistance too). After that incident, I never bothered what my rank was - not even when Gokul and others later succeeded in overtaking me.
While I say this, I cannot help but think about our dear friend Sooraj Sukumaran whom nobody was able to beat from 1st to 10th (regarding studies and ranks).
I suppose he too stopped rank hunting while he was in the Pre Degree / Degree classes. I remember showing him my answer sheet (on his request) for him to copy my diagram of step-up / step-down transformer, when I saw him sitting idle without writing anything on the answer paper. He had earlier (before entering the exam hall) told me that he didn't prepare a thing for the exam and had requested my help to somehow get thru the exam.
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I believe that the newer grading scheme is better than the older ranking system - especially when we remember the tactics parent (and schools) were employing at that time to make their wards rank holders (especially for the public exams) - and not to mention the tension each boy / girl had to go thru after each progress card entry.
Now looking back from this stage of our life, I think all of you will agree with me that getting top rank in itself is not a big thing. Of course there is no denying that as a child one should study well and get good marks. However, the big thing is learning how to succeed in life by learning how not to allow life to fail you. Succeeding in life (or at least not to allow life to fail you) requires much more skills and tactics than just studying and getting top ranks.
Once you come out of the caring and protective umbrella of your parents, and start facing the realities of life, you will soon realize that most of the time, success or failure of life depends on a multitude of factors - many of which are not in your control or even in your parents' control. Of course learning skills are definitely a factor - luck, money, God's grace, help of co-workers, getting into the good book of superiors, etc being some of the other factors which may (or may not) lead an individual to success or failure.
Instead of making children a "pusthaka puzhu" (book worm) or a mark/rank hunter, I think what is required is to try to some how put inside them the insight, wisdom and vision to succeed in life, while being able to successfully fit ourselves into the larger scheme of things, while gracefully accepting and adjusting to the rough brushes one may have with life, and while smartly avoiding the pitfalls of life. As I read in some magazine - "If there is a big rock that blocks your way it may be wiser that you take an alternate route instead of trying to break the rock by banging your head or chest against the rock repeatedly, which definitely is a useless exercise".
As "Sri Kochouseph Chittilappally" - the owner of Cochin based V-Guard Industries and associated businesses (Wonderlaa,Veegaland, et al - and one of the top tax payers in Kerala) once said to a gathering of MBA students - "Being successful means being able to lead a successful life with a peaceful mind in a healthy body".
Let us train our children to strive to become successful individuals. Let us pass on the lessons we learned the hard way in our life to them so that they are already warned of, and can avoid such situations which they may (or may not) have to face in their life, wherever possible.
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I was in a dilemma. These boys obviously are not fortunate enough to know what the caring and supporting umbrella of parents are like. I understood that education doesn't seem to be of much importance to them - life itself is their educator. Should I allow them to continue their process of learning from life or should I stop them and send them to school? (the later of course being the popular demand among my staff).
One of my staff put it like this -
"Let the boys go and study. We should not support them skip classes by allowing them to come and play games. If you are so particular that you should allow them to play games (I could read his mind from his face - "Iyyaalkku ithu enthinte kedaanu...?"), let them come during holidays and vacations. This is their period in life in which they should acquire education."
I quoted my friend - the boy's father : "Saarinu oru maasam paniyeduthaal kittunna paisa ente uppaakku oru divasam kadalil poyaal kittum".
I genuinely doubted : "These boys are learning things from life instead of learning from any school. Which is better? After all, if an illiterate person without going to any school, can earn in one day what an educated teacher can toil and manage to earn in one month, which is better?"
My programmer interfered:
"It is your misunderstanding that money is everything. Of course money should be generated from one's activities for meeting one's expenses and savings too. Apart from that, a good society requires law conscious, law abiding, and educated citizens. Education is absolutely necessary to build a better society and improve the quality of our and others lives. I agree that life itself is the biggest educator. But learning from life and learning from educational institutions are things that should supplement each other - a school education will definitely enable them to understand things in a broader perspective."
I remember one of my friends (he is an advocate by profession) saying :
"Each and every citizen should know the law. If someone doesn't know the rules, anybody can easily cheat him. And if the person goes to an advocate or an authority to file a complaint against the person who cheated him - chances are there that the advocate (or the authorities) too (recognizing his ignorance) will cheat him. I am not saying that all advocates (and authorities) are like that - but some may be like that."
Another of my staff said -
"Absence of social (school) education makes children too much gullible. How can we blame our youth when they deviate towards criminal activities or gets misguided by crooked politicians who uses them as a tool to advance their mean purposes, when we have not even attempted to instill in them (thru social education), the moral values of modern society and the importance of life? We can see that a major portion of our anti-social activities come from the uneducated strata of our society. How can we blame them when they deviate towards terrorism thanks to an overdose of religious education (which is compulsory and which they do not and cannot skip), supplemented by the complete absence of social education?"
I conceded defeat. What they say is correct - there is no point in arguing with them.
Though the boys were not happy about me abruptly stopping their gaming activities, they were somewhat happy when I said that they may come on holidays if they want. And I found my staff too happy with my decision of keeping away the "vaanara sena". Though there is no guarantee that they will go to school, I too felt happy that atleast I have done my part of not supporting them in their class skipping activities.
